Rating/Warning(s)/Note(s: M, this is Edward’s outlook on what happened at Bella’s birthday, I'm strangely proud of this

Prompt: Glass

I have relived that moment every day since it happened. And being that I never slept, I relived it every night as well. I know the exact moment it all went to hell. As attuned as I was to her and the heavenly smell of her blood, I smelt it before anyone did. One single drop of that precious juice was all it took to end my world. The one thing I had denied myself for years and the one person whose blood I lusted after the most was in my reach. Except Jasper beat me to it. I knew out of all of us Carlisle was truly the only vampire not a threat to Bella. Even I possessed a modicum of control. As much as I hate to think it, Jasper was the most likely to cave. And did he ever.

I watched in complete horror as he caught the enticing aroma and saw in his mind the image of my Bella laying in front of him, exsanguinated, his mouth filled with her life force. I was immediately on the attack and just barely made it to Bella in time. My only thought being of her as I brushed her aside to bear the brunt of Jasper’s force. Even with my speed and acute hearing I was seconds too late to stop what happened next. I managed to throw Jasper away from Bella and into a wall when I heard the glass table shatter before I actually saw her go through it. Silly me, I had become to complacent in my actions around Bella and should’ve known a brush in a moment of panic was nothing like the ones we had become accustomed to. I had put a little to much force into it and again the reality that Bella was human came crashing down on me.

I had inevitably made a bad situation much worse. Where what had started this was a single paper cut, now there were ribbons of blood pouring down her arm and for a moment I felt the hunger that I have denied myself rear its ugly head. I heard the other members of my family get Jasper in control and flee the room. Apparently I wasn’t the only one drawn to Bella’s blood. I heard Esme apologize in an agonized voice and she was gone with the others. As Carlisle took her into the dining room, I stared at was once our coffee table. It was so innocuous when Esme bought it home. I cursed Esme for decorating the house in glass. What was she thinking? Right after I had brought Bella home we should have changed things. Bella proofed the house. We were all aware of her clumsiness, it was only a matter of time before something happened to her.

I vaguely heard Jasper’s thoughts as they walked him deep into the forest, he was castigating himself. Well he should, I thought. I was still staring at the shards of glass when I heard Carlisle calling me. My heart broke when I saw my love lying on the table, drenched in her blood, Carlisle pulling out the pieces of glass still sticking in her arm. She looked at me and smiled. And therein lays the problem. She was completely unaware of the danger she was in mere minutes ago. Although I could not read her mind, I knew she was thinking that what happened was a tiny bump in the road. She would forgive Jasper and forget it ever happened. I never could get across to her the seriousness of a human being in the midst of vampires. And even this wouldn’t sway her. This would be harder than I thought.

My father told me to go speak with Jasper, saying that I would be the only one able to calm him. Why would I want to calm the person that just destroyed my life? As I walked through the living room, I cast another glance at the shards of glass lying on the floor. I cursed Esme, I cursed the table, and I cursed Jasper. But most of all, I cursed myself. Bringing Bella into this environment was wrong and totally selfish of me. I let her get through my defenses because I wanted her to. I could have walked away. Eventually. At the very least when her human form no longer served her. I didn’t believe any of the bullshit I was thinking, it just helped me to think that I could be that man. But I wasn’t a man, was I? I was a vampire, a monster. And my being here, the unnaturalness of me “living” caused the one person I loved most in the world to be in harm’s way.

It was then that I decided the only way to make sure that nothing happened to Bella that could be because of me was to leave. Not just me, but the whole family. I could talk Carlisle into it which would automatically mean that Esme would agree. I would use Jasper’s guilt, as much as that might pain me, to get him to agree. Rosalie would not be a problem. No, the only problem would be Alice and Emmett, they loved Bella as their own sister. Of course Alice could never be away from Jasper and I would have to use that to my advantage. Emmett wouldn’t stay here by himself. At least that should be the easy part. It would probably take me days to convince Bella though.

A plan started to form in my head as I finally reached the place in the forest where my brother and sisters were helping calm Jasper down. He looked at me with such sadness and remorse. I looked away from him, not wanting him to see the accusation in my eyes even though he could probably feel it. I had wished at that moment that I had pushed him into that wretched table.